Ersatz Heart
by Alahnore
Summary: Once a year, he was reminded that what he could offer was nothing but a stream of man-made lies. \\ Sci-fi AU; Fluri


Yuri gives him the usual loving smile and holds his hand like he has for the past several years. The touch is comforting, but Flynn isn't very receptive to it and his outward expression changes little. But while Yuri had little patience for much else, for those he cared about, he had an infinite amount.

Flynn walks stiffly at Yuri's side, his face a mask of neutrality. Others walk by him—others like Yuri, others like him, but no eye contact. Flynn hates this time of year so he makes no eye contact else he might actually show up much he was upset, and that could upset Yuri.

Upsetting Yuri registers as disappointment and sadness, so Flynn carefully avoids meeting optics with anyone else, be they human like Yuri or android like him. He's sure others go through this too, but for now Flynn can't help but simply focus on his own processing of the situation.

Every year at some point, every android goes in for a 'check up.' It was very human-like, although humans go to doctors, not engineers or scientists. It was Flynn's time of year, and he had foolishly told Yuri he might need a part replaced, so this time Yuri was going to go into the room with him instead of waiting outside like a normal person.

_Yuri, normal? Negative. Yuri Lowell does not fit the normal definition._

But that's what made Yuri so special, even to an android.

Flynn could admit, besides his check-up days, Yuri made him feel different. The processes become _thoughts_, the streams of code become _feelings_, and he ignores his programmed mannerisms sometimes and acts on things he was taught are _urges_. In short, Yuri makes him feel and act like a normal human. Instead of analyzing, Flynn thinks and feels. Sensations are real, not pre-programmed systems and recognition.

But these days, this one day a year, he was reminded that what he could offer was nothing but a stream of man-made lies. Each time he smiles to Yuri, it wasn't a real smile. His words weren't heartfelt… he doesn't have a heart. It was hard to remember the days Yuri dotes on him or fights with him like any normal couple. It was hard to remember the nights Yuri held him close and felt so warm and comforting. On this day, Flynn remembers he's an android, artificial and not real. Yuri loves a lie and Flynn can't ever set it right, because all he says are lies.

Because how can something without a heart actually love?

Each step they take to the office Flynn tries to find a way back to that human mindset. But humans don't go to engineers to be checked over. Humans didn't jack themselves up to computers and consoles, had their insides rifled with or their thought patterns analyzed for _defects_.

And really, Flynn was afraid. He's afraid all those time he feels human would point to him being defective, and if he is, they'd reset him. And how can he stay with Yuri if he gets reset?

"You're so tense," Yuri's voice slices through the processes and Flynn nearly trips. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Flynn lies, because Flynn was a lie and it was natural to lie. "Just… I do not want something to be seriously wrong."

"Me either. But I'm sure you'll be fine. And I'll be right there." Yuri says as reassuringly as he can.

Flynn feels the 'want' to be reassured, to take those words and absorb them into his memory and let them soothe him. But was it real? Or just another part of the programming?

The check up goes smoothly, for all of Flynn's fears. Unfortunately, the part of him that _was_ malfunctioning slightly, the part of him that shamed him the most, was the Heart Loop. Luckily, nothing would be lost—a quick transfer of memory and emotion files, along with basic bodily processes and function memories into a new Loop and Flynn was back to 'normal.'

At the end of the entire operation, which only took a few hours because android bodies weren't nearly as fragile as humans, Flynn sits on the operation table feeling sick. So easily his 'heart' is taken out, and he holds the malfunctioning Loop in his hands. It was vaguely shaped like a human heart, a bit more simple in design, and it was cold and robotic. Dry and metallic, made of artificial materials. He stares at it, seeing some of where the wire ports had began to burn out, some inner wires fraying and the tiny plates and layers beginning to come undone. They had said he was working it too hard, and that it was an old model anyway. But it was the model he was 'born' with, and how many humans could actually just remove their 'natural' heart and replace it with a 'new model'?

_I am false._

Yuri comes into the room, and Flynn can't look at him. Yet, while Flynn says nothing and never did speak a word of these ideations, Yuri's eyes held understanding. He waits patiently until Flynn looks at him, his blue optics focusing on the darker shades of Yuri's natural, beautiful, human eyes.

Yuri's hands come up to gently hold Flynn's, holding onto that old 'heart.' He steps closer, and Flynn frowns a bit. Yet, Yuri gives him a brief, sweet little kiss.

"I hope you feel better," Yuri says softly. "I was worried, you know."

Flynn tries to frown more, but he can't. He just didn't feel right doing it. "I assume with a new Loop my functions will improve—"

"Don't talk like that, Flynn." Yuri interrupts. "You know I don't see you like that."

"Because you are illogical. I am what I am."

"You act just as 'illogical.' Now quit being a jerk."

Flynn finds it in him to frown again. "I'm not. But yes. I… feel better."

"Good." Yuri smiles, and Flynn struggles not to smile back. "Let's go home. I'll make you something special."

"I am not an invalid—"

"No, but you were sick and you just had surgery. Let me."

Yuri insists on treating Flynn like a human, even if they both know he isn't. Flynn wasn't sure how long such a thing could last, or if there was some shame there that Yuri was trying to bury. After all, no one in their right mind would fall in love with an artificial being.

Maybe one day Flynn would find whatever the android equivalent of 'courage' was to ask, to have that conversation. But not today, when he just felt like another machine that could walk and talk. He doesn't think he has the emotion to argue, so Flynn just silently agrees.

But, impulsively, he puts the old Heart Loop into Yuri's hands.

"Yours." Flynn whispers, staring at it in Yuri's palms.

Yuri stares too, then he shifts the item to one hand so he could grasp one of Flynn's, pulling it to his chest to rest over his own heart. There Flynn can feel it beating, strong and healthy. His old Loop didn't beat, but the new one he thinks does. What else could explain the feeling he suddenly registers in his chest?

"Yours." Yuri replies with a smile, warm and honest.

Flynn bows his head, thinking the gesture and words over. Maybe… if Yuri truly meant that, maybe he had enough of a natural heart for them both.


End file.
